Busting Surrogacy Myths: Separating Fact from Fiction

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Busting Surrogacy Myths: Separating Fact from Fiction

There are many surrogacy myths out there that could sway some people into abandoning the option of surrogacy. We want everyone, whether potential gestational surrogates or the intended parents, to understand the realities of the process.

Let’s start debunking.

Fiction: The surrogate may try to keep the child she’s carrying

Fact: This is one of the common myths we’re happy to dispel. Intended parents can relax. Gestational surrogates go through a screening process before anything else happens to make sure they are suitable for this important role.

For example. they take a psychological exam and meet with social workers, who interview them about their intentions and understanding. And any potential surrogates who reveal red flags will not move further in the process.

We want to make it clear the surrogate has no parental rights to the baby. We’ll explore that in the next one.

Fiction: Surrogates have a legal claim on the baby

Fact: Gestational carriers have zero legal rights over the baby in every state that has pre-birth orders. (A pre-birth order is a contract that names the intended parents as the child’s legal guardians before the child is born.)

This means the intended parents’ names go onto the birth certificate, not the surrogate. The surrogate can’t keep the baby.

Fiction: Women who use a surrogate don’t want to deal with pregnancy

Fact: Numerous intended parents often exhaust other options before turning to gestational surrogacy as a last resort for a child who is biologically theirs. Gestational carriers are likely to meet intended parents who tearfully share how they wish they could get pregnant.

Surrogacy overlooks children awaiting adoption or fostering

Fact: Many intended parents opt for surrogacy as a final chance to have a biological child. There is nothing wrong with wanting a child who is genetically related to you.

Choosing surrogacy isn’t selfish, just as opting for biological children isn’t. Both adoption and surrogacy are personal choices for building a family.

Fiction: Surrogates must obey every directive from the intended parents, no matter how outlandish

Fact: The gestational carrier will never be surprised by out-of-the-blue demands from an intended parent. Both parties will use their attorneys to write the legally binding surrogacy agreement.

This is ideal for all parties involved, as any concerns are discussed and settled. Once both parties feel comfortable, the contract is then signed. And in our experience, most intended parents and surrogates are wonderful to work with!

Fiction: Women only become surrogates to make money

Fact: A woman might choose to become a gestational carrier for a variety of reasons:

  • Some women who have finished building their own families enjoy pregnancy.
  • Others see surrogacy as a way to help others.
  • They may have a family member who cannot conceive and they want to assist
  • Some become a surrogate to role model selflessness for their children

Fiction: It will be difficult to bond with a baby you were not pregnant with

Fact: Most intended parents are present when the baby is born. Afterward, skin-to-skin contact helps them bond with their baby by releasing feel-good hormones, stabilizing vital signs, and promoting closeness. However, it’s not the only way to bond. As time goes on, your baby will know you as their parents, who care for and loves them.

Fiction: Intended moms can’t breastfeed the baby

With guidance from specialists, intended mothers can stimulate lactation through prescribed hormones. And with plenty of dedication, they can breastfeed their babies. This will also help create that emotional bond!

Fiction: Any woman can be a surrogate

Fact: There are a lot of prerequisites to becoming a surrogate, from a specific age range to having had at least one previous successful pregnancy, along with other background and health requirements. Any potential surrogates will also have to release their medical records.

Fiction: Many surrogates end up carrying multiples

Fact: This common surrogacy myth comes from the fact that fertility specialists used to implant many embryos into the gestational carrier with the hope that maybe one or two would lead to pregnancy.

But those days have changed, and now only the most viable embryos, one or two at most, are implanted. As a result, gestational surrogacy has little chance of producing more than is transferred.

Fiction: The surrogate mother gets pregnant through intercourse with the biological father

Fact: This is a myth we’re happy to put to rest. If you want to become a surrogate, this should never happen. The intended father’s sperm never goes into the surrogate mother “the old-fashioned way.”

Traditional surrogacy entails in vitro fertilization, in which the embryo is implanted into the surrogate’s uterus under medical supervision. Procreation, on the other hand, would mean the surrogate’s egg would be used, and she would be related to the baby. That is not our aim.

Fiction: The gestational surrogate is genetically related to the child

Fact: This is one of the more common surrogacy myths. Gestational surrogates do not share a genetic relationship with the baby they are pregnant with. This is because the surrogate’s own egg is not used, and thus she shares zero genetic relation with the baby.

The embryo is created using the genetic material of the intended parents or a separate donor at their IVF clinic, and then the embryo is placed in the surrogate’s uterus.

Fiction: Contributing eggs diminishes a woman’s egg reserve

This one is for prospective egg donors. Fact: A woman typically has one to two million eggs in her ovaries at birth and only releases a few hundred eggs through ovulation in her lifetime. Typically about 10-15 eggs are extracted per donation cycle. As a result, there is no risk of depletion for an egg donor.

Final Thoughts

We hope this has cleared up some common surrogacy myths! Whether you want to become a surrogate or intended parent, we want to be sure you have the right information to make the best decision. The gestational surrogacy process is done with a lot of communication, care, and support. Does this inspire you to begin your own gestational surrogacy journey? Reach out to us today!


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