Jamie’s Birth Story
The Right Match!
My surrogacy coordinator was the reason I had such an amazing journey. When I told my wife I was ready to be a surrogate, she was worried; but supportive. After getting all my paperwork done, it was time to begin matching with an Intended Parent(s). Ashely didn’t hesitate, and she knew exactly who it should be! She set up a Zoom meeting for us and we instantly clicked. All of our views aligned, including that we all hoped for a twin pregnancy!
Embryo Transfer
We had a smooth double embryo transfer (DET), and we were successful on the first try! After confirming the pregnancy with HCG, the wait was difficult for the ultrasound to find out if we had one or two babies… I was so nervous and excited! When the nurse said she found two, I cried! All of our hopes for this journey were coming true!
Twin Pregnancy
The Pregnancy was great! There were parts of the pregnancy that were easier than a singleton pregnancy, which was surprising! I did develop Gestational Diabetes, so I had extra monitoring appointments and kept to a specific diet. When there were signs of mild preeclampsia symptoms, our healthcare team agreed to induce at 37 weeks.
Hospital Admission
When it was time to register for the hospital, I asked the Intended Parents if they had any questions about the delivery or hospital, and together we made a list. I called and asked if they were familiar with surrogacy deliveries, and what the differences are that we may experience. We were both put at ease as the hospital was very familiar with surrogacy, and we had been given several options once the babies were born.
Once we confirmed our date for induction, the Intended Father and I decided my wife would come with me to the hospital to start the induction. He then would come to the hospital when I got my epidural. One catch to this plan was the hospital only does twin deliveries in the O.R., which meant I only got 1 support person at delivery. We then decided we would see how I felt at that moment, to see who would be my support person during delivery.
Our Relationship
From the beginning, the Intended Parents and I created a very close bond. We messaged regularly once contracts were signed, sent photos, and checked in on each other frequently. They lived in London, UK and I live near San Fransisco, CA. Though distance was not ideal, we made sure to support one another as best we knew how. We met in person 2 weeks before delivery, which I thought would be awkward, but we got to know each other so well during the journey, that we felt like family!
Induction Time!
When it came time to go to the hospital for my induction, my wife was unable to join me. Nervously, I went alone… knowing when I was farther along, the twin’s Father would join me. I had delivered at this hospital before and felt comfortable with the Labor and Delivery center. Getting to experience this part of my journey with the Intended Father has bonded us forever. He was by my side the entire time, holding my hand when I was in pain. He made sure I was taken care of and gave me words of affirmation to keep me going!
Delivery
It was now the next day, I had been laboring for almost 24 hours and it was time to head to the O.R. delivery room. Once in the room the Doctors and nurses set up quickly. They prepped for both a vaginal and Cesarian section. I began pushing shortly after with the Intended Father holding my hand as he stood near my head. I pushed for around 20 minutes until Baby A arrived. He was perfect!! The nurses took him to clean him up and check his vitals. I told his Father to go see his baby boy, and he did.
Now it was time to deliver the twin baby girl, and the Doctors said she was very high still. The medical staff didn’t know if she would come out without a C-section. Upon hearing this, their Father ran back over to my side while I worked tirelessly to deliver his baby girl. He told me he knew from the look in my eyes, that I was determined to push her out!! After another 19 minutes of pushing, the beautiful twin girl Baby B was born. Their Father remained with me until the babies were brought over for us to see together. They placed them on my chest, while we both cried pure joy.
Postpartum
After delivery, we had the option to have separate recovery rooms or share one. We opted to share the same room until his husband could join him the following day. I wanted to make sure he had as much support as he had shown me. I was able to hold the babies, and truly see him become a father. It was beautiful and made the entire journey worth it.
I went home 2 days later, I felt fulfilled, and ready to rest. My recovery at home was quick and smooth. I went to visit the twins at 2 weeks postpartum, and then again with my whole family at 4 weeks postpartum! When visiting for the second time with my whole family, everything aligned. Every second of my journey rushed back to this very moment, and I will forever be connected, and forever loved.
Departing
The new Parents and twins returned home after 4 weeks, we said our goodbyes as we finished our journey together. I still talk to them monthly, we watch each other’s kids grow, check in on each other, and continue to forever be connected.
To future Surrogates
My advice to future surrogates:
- find special ways to connect with the Intended Parent(s) by sending videos and photos, of not just your belly or doctor appointments, but your family
- Creating a bond beyond your pregnancy will make this everlasting connection
- It is important to be open to what can happen at delivery, as there is no one way to do anything
- Always listen to your body and mind for what is right for you
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